I’ve been given an impossible task, I’ve got to double down on work, coding, and designing – and I love every moment of it. This is life and death now, there is no alternative, all the bridges are burnt – exactly how I like it.
He sits in his castle, taking a warm bath, on top of the world. He works barely 9 to 5 anymore, you see he did his work, along time ago. He put in the hard effort, but his time is up. I watch him from the shadows. I’m grinding 20 hours a day now. I take cold showers, and minimal breakfast, hardly lunch, and skip dinner – just so I can catch up to him. My movements are from the shadows, even more silent now. He can’t detect me, he can’t see me, I’m barely there. He’s not even looking for me – that’s his mistake. I’m going to crush him when I attack – his castle will be razed to the ground.
For a long time you asked, who is CCarter – I am the one who loves the game more than any other player. I am the one that waits till the sword is dangling over my head and the critical moment has arrived – I will not be stopped, the end is near, for most of my new competitors, they don’t know it yet.
“According to what one of the elders said, taking an enemy on the battlefield is like a hawk taking a bird. Even though it enters into the midst of a thousand of them, it gives no attention to any bird than the one it first marked.” – Ghost Dog / Hagakure
It’s electric… the energy, can you feel it. It’s all around us. You’ve felt it before. Small glimpses of it here and there, probably at a nightclub – this burst of energy and light hits you, for most of you it makes you want to dance, and you enter a trance like state. When I feel it I want to simply win and I know what has to be done. My only aim at this moment is to complete that goal. I’m completely focused at the task at hand and shall not waiver.
I have been reading your blog for the last month or so. Also your wickedfire threads and blackhatter forum threads. I am starting to feel like a stalker. Had some business issues and ended up selling everything to protect everyone else but myself. Lost some good and bad partners and a wife in the fall out. Have been pretty useless ever since (6 months) as I feel I should suffer for my decisions (catholic upbringing) but I need to get back into the game. I found your site “Money over Ethics” read through it and decided to respond to this post as it applies to me the most. “The critical moment has arrived”
I don’t have any specific questions right now as I know all of this is up to me. But I would appreciate it if you would continue to write about philosophy. Your posts have had a good effect on me and I look forward to them. However, I am not going to tell you that they have changed my life or some crap like that because they haven’t. At least not yet. Maybe I can some day send you a note and tell you I have recovered.
I had a Catholic up-bringing once… Only once, until I realized religion is a way to control the masses. I never understood the cloak that’s been pulled over people’s heads on God and church. One, God doesn’t need a dime of my money, ‘he’ is suppose to be God, creator of all.
That means the money I gave is for the ‘church’ not actually God, so it can continue indoctrinating people with the guilt of being alive. That assumes people are amoral or without moral from birth, and need to be “told to do good”. That’s where the farce with ‘original sin’ doesn’t make sense. How can I be responsible for something which I had no decision in making? It’s all a way to control people, to get them to ‘feel’ bad for every small thing which one takes pleasure in.
A perfect example is sex. It’s a sin, if not ‘married’ by the church (dollar signs). It’s a ‘filthy’ act, yet it brings life into the world. How can you call something which brings life into the world, filth – unless you are also calling the outcome – new life, filth. Animals pro-create all the time, are they ‘sinning’ or just doing what nature instinctually taught them to do, survive and create the next generation?
And let’s not even get into why God, creator of everything, would need to actually be worshipped. Only people that need worshipping at any level is because the ego exists within them. Having the ‘ego’ means you are human, since you need worshipping or praise at some level. To be a God is to be amoral, to be a God is to allow suffering and joy, to be a God is not to be ‘good’ nor ‘evil’, just be.
Imagine a programmer builds a computer program that just praises him and tells the programmer how great he is, after one day, anyone would be tired of it. So that “Catholic” up-bringing, that social guilt that was placed on you, that tells you the pleasures you seek are to be damned, are filth, are immoral, they are the true lies. If pleasure is to be damned, then is sorrow and pain to be sought after? No, that’s just religion trying to pass guilt onto you to control you and your actions.
“Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.” In order to create, we need to destroy the past in order to have room, resources, and matters to create the new. Your upbringing, your mentality, the way you think about the world has to be first cracked then destroyed in order for new seeds to be planted underneath. Imagine trying to grow a new flowerbed underneath concrete, it’s easier first to destroy and remove the concrete, then plant the new seeds. The foundation on how you see the world and feel pain, pleasure, and life have to be changed, otherwise you’ll never ‘get out’ of the rut you are in.
To start cracking the foundation, use a simple trick, say “No”. Flat out to anyone that wants you to do something you don’t want to do. Just simply say “No”, without explanation, without a fake reason on why not, just say “No”. And if they ask “Why not?” Simply state the truth out in the open, “Cause you don’t want to.” They may resent you, but they’ll have A-LOT more respect for you, your time, and your person. No is a powerful word which most people are scared to ever state. Not “maybe”, not fucking “I’ll think about it”, just fucking “No.” That’ll start re-energizing your chakra back form the mangled formed it’s in.
Fuck these faggots, it’s your fucking life… Take control, and do what makes YOU happy, fuck everyone else. It’s your life, and you have the right to pursue happiness and what you want on your terms. People are obstacles that get in the way, slow you down, or drag you down with their constant drama.
I’m not only talking to you, I’m talking to myself and re-enforcing my own beliefs with this writing. It’s not easy breaking the imprint of social guilt that religion, society, and life has weighed one down with. It has to be re-enforced, over and over and over even after the chains are broken.
First of all thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. I am sure that you put a lot of time into your response and I suspect your time is very valuable. Thank you.
While logically I agree with you there is like an invisible wall in front of me whenever I decide to put my needs first. I keep thinking today is the day I am going to break through and start moving forward again. Then I fuck it up and semi-waste the day doing things that don’t need to be immediately done.
There is a quote you used about being in the moment that made me realize that I have lost that ability. How does one get it back? I used to have it. Why can’t someone just slap me up the side of my head? I guess subconsciously I have already done the burn the boats thing trying to motivate myself. That’s not working. Tried saying NO to someone last week, didn’t work (ended up helping them anyway-the whole Easter weekend good will thing)
Anyway, you have better things to do then listen to me rant. Again I wanted you to know that I appreciate your response and again I will look forward to your writings.